Going Down Swinging

Well, I have my answer to who would bother airing anti-Kasich political ads.

Marco Rubio, of course.

I saw two instances of the same Rubio ad last night. It was a kind of confusing mish-mash starting with (I'm paraphrasing here), "Marco Rubio is awesome," segueing into "Donald Trump is the debbil," then "a vote for Cruz or Kasich = a vote for Trump," so "vote Marco. Yay!" All in less than a minute.

Two things:

Those were the only political spots I saw all night although that may be my fault since most of my limited TV time was spent either on the BBC, Al Jazeera (while it lasts), or the pre-March Madness tournaments. Colbert was the exception and that's where I saw them. I realize Florida is a large state with very numerous and distinct TV markets but, although two is a definite increase over the one, or none, per day I've been subjected to so far, this does not at all feel like a saturation campaign just days before a must-win election. Perhaps they're suffering more in Miami, Orlando and Jacksonville.

Also, the ads were put together and run by Rubio's superPac since, according to reports/rumours, Rubio's campaign is out of money and can't afford to do any commercials on their own in his own home state! I'm sure that's a confidence builder for his backers.

And, Here. We. Go.

Our presidential primary is now under two weeks away and I have finally seen campaign attack ads. Two, precisely.

Just to set the record straight, I have seen a couple of Bernie Sander's ads, I think, but they were on MSNBC, a national cable channel, not local, and I could be wrong about that because they sometimes run bits of various ads as explanatory material to their editorial segments. The two I'm talking about were local and real.

The first was from an obvious Marco Rubio supporter, although I think not from the campaign itself since it didn't have the "I'm [CANDIDATE] and I support this . . ." disclaimer. It started by claiming Rubio has foreign policy expertise (dubious, but O.K.) and then went on to disparage Donald Trump. The best line was (paraphrasing), "He claims he can negotiate with China because a Chinese bank is a tenant in one of his buildings."

The second one was also anti-Trump and didn't mention any other candidate, so must have been put out by a super-pac. It went on about all his various business failures, an impressive list.

And that's it.

No Hillary or Bernie ads even though the Democratic primary is the same day.

No other Republican ads either for or against any of the candidates, all (and I mean all) of whom are still on the ballot here. No generic attack ads for or against anyone. Just those two spots, and each one just once. I don't watch a lot of TV and what I do watch is seldom local, but still.

I cannot imagine it will stay this quiet until March 15.

Clockwork Democracy

In all my years of voting I have never seen an official notice like the one that appeared in the newspaper yesterday. I don't know if this is the result of some new law or if I just haven't been paying attention all this time.

Our Supervisor of Elections, who has been trying to recover some semblance of competency after the fiasco of two- and three-hour waiting lines during the last presidential election, placed a half-page advertisement/public notice in English and Spanish on page 2 of the local paper. It's title is "Canvassing Board Meetings and Logic and Accuracy Testing Schedule" and it opens up all the inner workings of the elections office to public scrutiny (which may have been the case already, but who knew?).

For starters, we actually have four elections happening together on March 15: two separate municipal elections (City of Bonita Springs and Town of Fort Myers Beach), and a referendum special election for the Matlacha/Pine Island Fire District as well as the presidential primaries for both Republicans and Democrats. Only the "D" primary applies to me.

The next section of the notice lists the 10 early voting stations and their days and hours of operation. I've never seen that published before although I'm sure it must have been. One of the polling places is our library and I'm there often enough that I couldn't miss it if I wanted to.

The most interesting part, however, is the chart that makes up the bottom half of the notice giving the dates, times locations and tests to be done to insure the completeness and accuracy of the election(s). For instance, the first line:

DATE           TIME          EVENT                    LOCATION                                PURPOSE

03-01-16      9:00 AM     logic and accuracy   Lee County Election Center       Test, by a random method of

Tuesday                        testing                   13180 S Cleveland Ave               selection, the voting machines 

                                                                 Fort Myers 33907                       to be used in the election during 

                                                                                                                 early voting and at the precincts

                                                                                                                 on Election Day

There follows: Test absentee ballot tabulators (also 3/1 right after the logic testing) and initial canvass of already-received absentee ballots. Then on Thursday, review of absentee ballots followed by more absentee ballots on Tuesday (election Day) and receipt of unofficial election results, then provisional ballots on Friday 3/18, overseas ballots and election certification on Friday 3/25 and a manual audit the following Monday 3/28.  All of which is very explicitly open to the public. As it should be.

I may just have to cross the river and check this all out.

Is This What Democracy Feels Like?

I have been voting now for near on fifty years, ever since I was old enough to register. I have missed maybe two or three elections in all that time. Never before have all of my choices/candidates won. In fact, the vast majority of my candidates over the years have lost mostly because I do not vote a party line in any election and usually go for the third (or fourth) party candidates. Also, recently I've tended to live in very lopsidedly one-party states. The only presidential candidate I ever voted for who won was Barack Obama.

Imagine my surprise when the returns came back this week from Tuesday's local election.

All the candidates I chose won. Admittedly there were only three of them, but still. Every charter amendment I voted for passed and the ones I opposed lost.

I'm not quite sure how to deal with this strange sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, but I doubt it will survive next year's election.

 

Crikey! What a Bunch of Cheapskates!

I was at the library, which is one of the early voting locations, and decided to get my civic duty over with.

There were seven or eight volunteers and poll watchers there to serve me, the lone voter (although I had seen other people going in and out earlier). The ID-checker-man said my signature on the electronic card reader thingy looked just like the one on my license which I'm not sure was a compliment but it did allow me to go and get my ballot.

I voted "Yes" on all the charter amendments except for lowering the veto requirements and lowering the referendum requirements. I also voted for the non-ideological, non-Tea Party candidates for council, at least as far as I could tell in a non-partisan, no-label election.

And I was shocked (shocked, I say!) to discover that the change in how elected city officials' pay would be determined means that the $36,600 and $32,600 salaries listed in the amendment will represent a 50% increase over what they're being paid now! Are you kidding me?! This is the tenth largest city in the state by population, almost 155,000 people, and we've been paying these guys between $19- and $23,000 a year to run the place?? It may have been a part-time job when the city was first incorporated but it sure ain't now.

Well, I did my part. Now we'll just have to wait until after the official election day, this Tuesday, to find out just what kind of tightwads the rest of the neighbors are. My hopes are not high.

Ignorance Under the Law

Confession time. When I moved to this city I never took the time to sit down and actually read the city charter. In fact, I never read the charter of Salt Lake City when I lived there, nor of any other place I've ever lived. Every incorporated municipality has one, right?

Has anyone read their city's charter or incorporating documents?

Ever?

And I don't count lawyers hired by or contracted to a city who must read it as part of their jobs, nor lawyers for people who might want legal recourse against a municipality. I'm referring to real people.

And yet, this fall, we, the voters who have never read our charter, are being asked to amend it in seven different places. Because we're the ones in charge, after all.

Most of the amendments seem sensible enough:

• Change the amount of severance pay due to city officers when they get fired from four months to four months or whatever is required by state law, whichever is less. (Yes, let's follow state law, please.)
• Change the mayor's and city council's salaries to a fixed amount instead of one based on the number of registered voters. (Who came up with that weird formula in the first place? And the mayor's salary will be only $36,600 a year? Council members, $32,600. For a city with a population just shy of 155,000 people? Really?)
• Change the charter to specify that emergency regulations must be enacted in accordance with state law. (There's the second reference to behaving according to state law. How were we doing it before?)
• Bring our anti-discrimination ordinances up to par by including color, religion sexual orientation, national origin, age, handicap, marital status and/or any class protected by state or federal law. (Yay! I don't have any idea how many of those were not covered before and I wish it were possible to just say "Don't discriminate," but since people in power apparently need to be told in detail this will do nicely for now. And again with the obeying state law thing.)

Two proposed amendments, I don't know what their effect will be or what the intent really is:

• Reduce the number of signatures needed to force a referendum from 15% to 10%. (There's a fine line between allowing citizens to bypass a recalcitrant council and encouraging cranks to petition for their every little hobby horse. If we cross that line it could be nigh impossible to claw back to it. Technically, each of these amendments constitutes its own referendum, already. Just based on the published letters to the editor, I'm inclined to believe we have enough Tea Partiers in town to really gum up the works if given the chance. I'm leaning towards, "No.")
• Reduce the number of members on future Charter Review Commissions (O.K., I guess these folks have read the charter. Don't know how many are lawyers, though.) from nine to seven with two alternates. (Seems like a housekeeping kind of thing. Perhaps they didn't all get along this time. I'll likely go for it.)

And one proposal is a no go from the start:

• Reduce the number of votes needed to override the mayor's line-item veto from two-thirds to a simply majority (but not less than four). (Sorry, no. This is a power grab by the council that will enable them to get their pet projects approved at the expense of the entire city using the good-ol'-boy, buddy-buddy, "I'll override yours if you override mine," system. Our council has too many goofballs (and developers/politicians in developers' pockets) on it to trust them. Perhaps we could get more competent people if we paid them more?)

So there we are. We are charged with changing the rules by which we govern ourselves. It's kind of inspiring although it does make me wonder what else we're still doing that isn't "in accordance with state law."

Not enough to go read the damned charter, though.

(Non-)Participatory Democracy

We finished up a week or so of early voting last week followed by the official primary vote day to select the candidates for each political party who will now run against each other for various local offices.

I say "we" although that "we" doesn't include "me" since I am unaffiliated and not allowed to involve myself in the parties' selection of their candidates, it being an internal party matter. (There is an interesting exception: If only one party will have a candidate for a particular office in the general election, a situation which can and does happen in this heavily conservative area where liberals have trouble finding people willing to be sacrificial lambs, then the primary for that office effectively becomes the general for that office and is open to all voters. That did not happen this time around.)

Someone wrote a letter to the paper complaining that the turnout was only 18%. It wasn't clear if that was of the total electorate (which wouldn't be quite fair since about 30% of the voters were, like myself, ineligible due to our independent status) or just of the party members. Either way is still pretty pathetic.

I am seriously thinking of registering with a political party in order to be able to vote in one or the other of the upcoming presidential primaries next spring. I just haven't decided whether to register Democrat in order to vote for Bernie Sanders because I think he's great, or Republican so I can vote for Donald Trump and try to monkeywrench their process. High road, low road. Which shall it be?

An interesting side note to last week's primaries: One of the early voting places was the town library and for the first day or two the Christians who have their little display out in front by the meeting room door moved over to the far side of the main entrance. Then they moved back for the rest of the week. I guess somebody figured out they weren't stumping for any listed candidate and weren't violating the ban on campaigning within a hundred yards of a polling place. Besides, they only talk amongst themselves unless someone approaches them and initiates the conversation.

Storm Watch: Well, That Escalated Quickly

Our thoroughly corrupt, Tea Party governor has declared a state of emergency in advance of Tropical Storm Erika.

I have no respect for this man who should be behind bars and would be if the 1% stopped covering for each other but this was probably a good idea, all in all. Mind you, we still don't know where . . . or if . . . Erika might hit us. It was forecast to go north of Puerto Rico and then turn up the Florida coast. Instead, it moved south of the island and is expected to cross over Hispaniola which might kill it thanks to the mountainous terrain. If it does survive or reform after the Dominican Republic it will be further west before making its northerly turn which means a much better chance of hitting the Florida mainland and of being much closer to us.

In fact, the most recent predicted track, assuming Erika survives Hispaniola, puts the center of the storm directly over us before noon Monday.

The state of emergency activates the Florida National Guard in addition to preparing the way to apply for federal aid. It also gives the media a handle to help focus people's attention. Considering how little experience a lot of folks down here have with cyclonic storms right now, that's probably a good thing.

Police on Sanibel Island have begun issuing re-entry passes to residents (orange for homeowners, blue for businesses) for use in the event the island needs to be evacuated.

Of course, Erika might not survive the Dominican mountains. It might not turn at all but go straight into the Gulf of Mexico. But it's already killed a dozen or more people so better to be over prepared than under.

A Delicious Weekend of Neurotoxins

So it turns out tilefish is very tasty: mild, sweet, firm and flaky. Goes well with home-made mango salsa on a bed of jasmine rice, salad on the side. Or an ear of buttered sweet corn. Can be baked, broiled or fried.

It is also loaded with mercury. Right up there with swordfish.

Some of the sites I checked said limit to one serving per month. Others said don't touch it. All of them said absolutely not for children or pregnant (or potentially pregnant) women. Surprisingly, the official Florida government guide which breaks down fish contamination risks by river, lake and coastal zone by named species and even includes various types of puffer fish (fugu) doesn't so much as mention tilefish, let alone list any warning.

I maybe should have checked those sites before indulging.

As it is, my brother and I are neither children nor female and we eat so little fish as a rule that our cumulative mercury levels are most likely quite low. Any degradation in cognitive functions is just age-related. Probably. Still, I sealed up most of the fillets and stuffed them in the freezer so we can space out our consumption. I figure the risks are low enough and the fish is tasty enough to not warrant throwing them away.

On the bright side, it's raining mangoes, a new half-dozen tomatoes ripen almost every day and the peppers are getting thick. And they're all free-range organic so they counteract any effects from the fish.

Right?

. . . And the End of Civilization As We Know It

Today is the day Florida's judicial stay on the enforcement of the declaration of unconstitutionality of the state's ban on same-sex marriages was lifted. It's convoluted.

Several years ago, along with a bunch of other red(dish) states, our legislature managed to work up enough of a paranoid frenzy among the insecure and easily frightened to get a constitutional amendment passed limiting marriage to the "traditional" one man, one woman format and besides, it's what Jesus wants. (Let's forget that "traditional marriage" as they defined it is barely more than a century old and for most of history was a transfer of property contract between men, and Biblical marriage was even worse involving slavery and polygamy (lookin' at you, Solomon!).)

Anyway, last year a federal judge, upon complaint from two guys wishing to wed in the north end of the state and two women in Miami, declared the ban unconstitutional under the federal 14th amendment which requires states to comply with federal law and ordered the clerks of the county in which the betrothed lived to issue the marriage licenses.

The state, in the full majesty of its official capacity, immediately freaked out and requested a stay of judgment to give it time to appeal the decision, which the judge granted.

Now, the thing about appeals is: higher courts are not usually required to hear them and, if they refuse, the original ruling, whatever it may be, stands. And no higher court, not even the Supreme Court where the extremely conservative Clarence Thomas was the justice who heard the request, agreed to take the case.

So the stay was set to expire at midnight last night.

And then the fun started. The state attorney general, still in full freak-out mode, declared that the ruling only applied to the plaintiffs and anyone else seeking a same-sex marriage could still be discriminated against. And the law firm for the county clerks' association warned the members that the clerks of all the other counties not covered by the ruling risked breaking the law by applying the ruling. So on New Year's Day the judge issued a clarification making it plain that his injunction against the constitutional ban applied to everyone across the state.

At which point some counties (specifically those encompassing Miami, Tampa and Key West) began celebrating, most counties began adjusting their forms and procedures, and a dozen counties in the deep redneck north of the state began contorting themselves to do the barest minimum mainly by refusing to perform any marriage ceremonies gay or straight on the logic that the judge's ruling applied only to marriage licenses not actual marriages. (At least they were smart enough to realize that continuing to perform straight marriage ceremonies would open themselves up to discrimination charges. And there are plenty of other options, both religious and secular, for couples to hold their services.)

And so, despite the trembling of the earth, rising of the waters, lightning splitting stone, and howling winds, society has not yet collapsed. And Florida is being dragged kicking and screaming right up to the edge of the twenty-first century.

Nicely Done, Javert. Nicely Done.

The police have arrested a suspect in the theft of my brother's wallet.

My brother just received some documents from the court detailing the name of the suspect (might could be a good ol' boy from the sound of it, if he is the one), the charges (two: theft from an unoccupied vehicle and use of stolen cards over $100) and his bail ($5000). The $5000 amount is listed next to each charge so I'm not clear on whether that's the total amount or per charge. It might be a moot point since the court has already judged him indigent and assigned a public defender which means he might not have even the 10% cash necessary to post bond.

The alleged thief has also been enjoined by the court to stay away from the scene of the crime (assuming he makes bail) and to have no contact of any kind with my brother.

There are several more pages to the document requesting details on my brother's loss (minimal), any insurance reimbursements (none), psychological trauma (also minimal/none), funeral expenses (its a really generic form), etc., including an essay section on "How I Feel About Being a Crime Victim."

First court appearance is set for October 10.

Civic Duty x 3 . . . and Counting

Today is officially the third of the four elections we are scheduled to hold this year although, thanks to early voting, I got my opinion in last Saturday.

The first was the primary to choose the candidates to replace our brand-new coke-head family-values congressman who had to resign after being busted only months after taking office.

The second was the special election between the winners of the aforementioned primary. To fill the office between special election and the next general election. This November.

Today, two months later, is the primary election to choose the candidates who will run in the general election this November except for the races where the winning candidate today would be otherwise unopposed in which case this is the regular election for all intents and purposes. The primary races where there will be opposition in November are closed, meaning only registered party members may vote to choose the party candidate. Races where there will be no other opposition are open and any registered voter may vote in those. Some races, even though they will be contested in November, are officially non-partisan and, again, anyone can vote in those. In addition, some elections are for offices in special districts which do not match the boundaries of the congressional or state legislative districts (i.e., fire districts, county commission, board of education, etc.) either encompassing only part of a larger district or overlapping with another district. Only some voters are eligible to vote in those depending on residence.

And people wonder why no one can tabulate a Florida election accurately.

Actually, I was impressed with the technology when I went in to vote. I presented my driver's license as ID which the woman at the first station scanned and, since it lists my address, the computer knew exactly which races I was eligible to vote in. It then printed out a neat one-page ballot tailored specifically for me (and anyone else living in my same neighborhood). I didn't have to worry about missing a vote or, worse, marring (and maybe voiding) the ballot by voting in a contest I should not have. In previous elections, I recall ballots where all the contests were presented and different races had different warnings attached as to who could and could not vote in them. In two languages. That's a lot of wasted trees.

Unfortunately, despite the fact that early voting uses consolidated polling stations and any registered voter can use any polling place, I was the only voter in mine for the entire (admittedly short) time it took me to cast my ballot. The turnout for off-year, primary elections, despite the fact that most of the government people actually deal with, and gripe about, on a day-to-day basis is local, is pathetic.

And thus, we get the government we deserve.

Detailing: If It's Worth Doing, It's Worth Doing Eventually

As I was getting ready to leave the house for my platelet donation this morning a couple of city trucks pulled up on our main street (the one with the recent sidewalk installation). A couple of workers got out with chain saws and I thought, "Uh oh, here we go again," but, fortunately, I went out to take a look at what they were up to before waking my brother.

They did trim a little underbrush from around the power pole at the north corner of our property but just so they could get in and uproot the duplicate pole leftover from whenever they had replaced them all last. Quite a few poles along that street have these residual "stumps." They've been cut down to remove the crossbars and be lower than the wires attached to the active poles but they're still a good 12 - 15 feet tall.

I have no idea when the switchover was done. It was well before I moved down here so, at the very least, it's been years that the old poles have stood adjacent to the new ones. I guess someone finally noticed.

One of the trucks had a large log grabber on an extendible articulated arm. Once the space was cleared it gently reached over, grabbed the redundant pole and yanked it out. Neighbor Dan also had doubles on his property and apparently his was dug in pretty deep because the grabber had to twist it back and forth to loosen it up enough for the pull. It was kind of like watching an old-time dentist pull teeth.

At least now someone at city works can finally close the book on that little project.

And my donation, managed by a new tech, went super well.

Jumping the Gun

It's three days before the special Republican primary election to select one of the candidates (and, given, the hard conservatism of this district, the likely winner) to replace our disgraced coke-headed Tea Party congressman and the local newspaper has done something I don't recall ever seeing before.

Their dead-tree edition has a front page story, covering the top two-thirds, effectively calling the race for one of the candidates based on a poll conducted earlier in the week. The headline reads, "ALL CLAWSON," with a picture of the candidate about twice as large as the others. (I think the size of the photo is equivalent to the per centage of favorable responses in the poll.) Clawson is an "outsider," a Tea Party darling and something of a carpetbagger, just like the last few congressmen from this district everyone is so embarrassed about.

The poll was conducted over three days and limited to registered Republicans (it's a closed primary) who claimed they were "certain" or "likely" to vote. There were 669 respondents. Further breakdown reveals that 91% were white, and 50% are over 65 years old. Another 36% are between 45 and 65. There's no telling how many of the remaining 14% are real close to 45 but as the Tea Partiers and other far right conservatives die off around the country, this will probably be their last stronghold.

Meanwhile, the actual election is still in progress. Early voting has been going on all week. Absentee ballots have reportedly been received at the county clerk's office in near record numbers. And the official election day isn't until Tuesday.

The cynic in me wonders if this is not a ploy by the newspaper (which is actually fairly moderate on political issues) to make Clawson supporters believe the election is in the bag, thereby lowering their turnout on election day and getting the followers of one of the also-rans fired up to go vote. Politics is dirty enough around here that it's possible.

So, This Year Is Pretty Much Planned Out Already

We're having an extra round of elections here, this year. Yay.

Our brand new Teabagger congressman, the former right-wing family-values radio talk-show host who was accused during the campaign of owning porno urls and squatting on competitors' addresses, was -- surprise, surprise -- busted up in Washington for buying cocaine. He was set up by his supplier.

Fortunately for him, the amount he bought only qualified as a misdemeanor in D.C.. Down here it would have been a felony. He plead out (blaming his alcoholism(!)), was given a fine and probation, and checked himself into some sort of 28 day Jiffy-Hab resort. 28 days later: Presto! Brand new squeaky-clean (but still radical reactionary) congressman. Only the local Young Republicans were buying it, though. Everyone else, from the governor on down, including the vast majority who had voted for him in the first place, cried out, "Depart, we say, and let us have done with you." (Or something to that effect. Apologies to Cromwell.) After a month of insisting that, no, he was fine, really, cured completely, nothing to see here anymore, please let me keep my cushy job, he finally resigned. Of course, it's strictly coincidental that the House Ethics Committee investigation of his behavior became moot as soon as he left.

Anyway, his seat is now empty and rather than wait until the regularly scheduled general election this November, the governor has set a special election for June 24, with a primary for the multiple Republican hopefuls set for April 22. The Democrats and Libertarians have one candidate each so there will be no primary for those parties.

The winner in June, most likely the Republican primary survivor (this district is made up of a huge number of old white folks with enough money to be able to retire to Florida), will have to turn right around and stand for re-election in November. And more than likely face another Republican primary in August.

The rationale for holding the special election is that it is critical for us to have representation but, given that Congress does virtually nothing lately and does even less than that over the summer, and given the length of even abbreviated election campaigns in this country, the only time our new representative will not be campaigning is the last week of June and the first two weeks of July during which he/she will be moving into his/her new offices. And Congress will be in recess for Independence Day.

But at least somebody will be collecting the congressional paycheck for our district.

We're Bombing in New Haven

In American theater, there are several degrees of importance. There is, of course, "Broadway." Major venues that are not literally on Broadway but still within the theater district are, logically enough, "Off Broadway." Those even further out but still in Manhattan (or at least New York City), and frequently experimental, are "Off Off-Broadway." And then there is "Off Off-Off-Broadway, sometimes also known as "New Haven."

We have the same thing with elections. We have elections around here every year for something or other. The big ones, of course, are the even-numbered year quadrennial presidential elections when we enjoy months of vicious mudslinging advertisements, day-long lines in the hot sun, eight-page ballots crammed with ridiculous proposed constitutional amendments the legislature was too craven to pass on their own, hanging chads, miscounts, recounts and court challenges. And the unrelenting attention of the national news media. This is our political "Broadway."

Two years later, in the intervening even years, we have our off-year elections when the federal House of Representatives, the state legislature, governor and the rest of the elected state officials, and the occasional U.S. Senator all stand for office. Fewer people show up for this one than the presidential elections but the governorship is important enough to attract a fairly decent turnout most years.

Then there are the off off-year elections. The odd-numbered year elections. The local races for mayor and city council and county commission and other even more obscure positions. The offices that generate the largest volume of most passionate, florid, ill-considered, barely literate and unintentionally hilarious letters to the editor of the local newspaper. This year.

Today.

And no one shows. I voted today. I went to my precinct just before noon. I thought I saw someone leaving as I entered but it could easily have been a poll worker taking some air. I was the only voter there during the time it took me to cast my ballot. There was a "guard" at the door, three people at the table where I showed my ID and received my number, another to trade me my number for a blank ballot, still one more to stand by and instruct me how to insert the completed ballot into the machine if I didn't know how or had forgotten since last time and two sitting attentively at another table watching the whole process. And that doesn't count the three people at the refreshment table on the way out offering to reward me with coffee and pastries.

I was outnumbered eleven-to-one.

People will bitch and moan about the president and blame him for things over which he has no control and are the Congress' responsibility. But they don't bother to vote for representative or senator. They complain about the governor but never vote against their state legislator. And for the politicians and offices that have the most effect on their taxes and day-to-day lives, the people who determine the property tax rates and manage the police and fire services, who run the sewer and water department and repair the roads? They don't even bother to vote.

But the letters will still be in the paper tomorrow.

And Hallowe'en Is Still Over Two Weeks Away

I went out this morning to the library and as I drove down our main neighborhood street (the one that had the  lane removed and turned into a bike way and is soon to get sidewalks) I passed a house with the most extraordinary--and scary--lawn display.

The entire frontage facing the street, from property line to property line, was piled literally five feet high (more in some spots) with furniture, clothing and large, bulging, black plastic trash bags. They made a wall, a berm, a blockade across the entire access to the house. There were a trio of pick-up trucks parked on the street and median (the driveway was blocked). From the size of the house and the sheer volume of the mountain range of trash out front, I can only surmise the occupants must be/have been classic hoarders. I can not imagine how it would be possible to stuff that volume of stuff into the available space.

I have no idea if this is the result of an intervention or merely the cleansing after an estate sale.

The funny thing is, the outside property itself has always been well cared for. Lawn mowed. Shrubberies trimmed. No litter. There was never any indication that anything might be amiss inside.

I feel the urge to recycle some old paperwork and magazines, now. And catalogs. They're coming in fast, now, too.

Know Your Market

Facebook doesn't know I have not been in Utah for some time now, and I am fine with that. There are a lot of things I prefer Facebook not know. But what that means is the random ads appearing on the right side of my page are often, when they are not national or Internet-based, still geared to Utah. (And while I suppose it is nice to know a couple of my friends claim to "like" Walmart, that is not sufficient reason for me to ever set foot in there.)

A few days ago an ad appeared for a local (Utah) mortuary.

Irrelevant aside: "Mortuary," the preferred term of art in Utah, always struck me as being exceptionally cold and clinical, perhaps because I hail originally from New England where we had funeral homes and funeral parlors, phraseology going back to before the Civil War when it was customary to set up the casket for viewing in the parlor at home. Professional funeral homes generally didn't appear until after the war when the  practice of embalming (originally becoming more widely used in order to be able to transport soldiers' remains long distances from the battlefield to home) gained acceptance.

Anyway, aside from the fact I have no need for, or interest in, their services their pitch otherwise seemed exceedingly well-placed.

They were offering a seminar on their plans and options, to be held at the local Golden Corral. I simply can't imagine better demographics than a herd of retirees loading up on all-you-can eat cholesterol. I wouldn't be surprised if they had some business right there before the evening was over.

I hope they appreciate their marketing guy's genius.

The Ongoing Daily Apocalypse

Seems a rather large sinkhole has opened up near Disney World swallowing a largish building or two and effectively destroying an entire resort complex.

(It is an ex-resort)

No injuries reported, so that's good and the resort has given spending money to guests who lost their clothes and wallets and such in the collapse.

Meanwhile, closer to home, a Texas company is seeking permits to drill fracking wells in a housing development next to protected panther habitat near the Everglades, a process that will use tens of thousands of gallons of water. Never mind the toxic chemicals used to break up the rock, that water has to come from somewhere. The state Department of Environmental Protection notes that "heavy ground water pumping, [and] diversion of natural water flow routes . . . may accelerate sinkhole formation." What could possibly go wrong?

(Locals protest fracking as the Google Street View car rolls by)

Meanwhile, a twelve-year-old boy over toward Lake Okeechobee has contracted brain-eating amoebae, probably from swimming in a canal full of warm fresh (but contaminated) water. The brain-eating amoeba is rare, but of the couple hundred known cases there has only ever been one survivor.

Meanwhile, over on the east coast, a large bloom of slimy, fluorescent green algae is closing the St. Lucie and Indian rivers. Officials are warning locals not to even touch the water.

Just another day in Paradise.

Kind of puts the pythons and bears and lion fish and tegus and 48 species of mosquitoes in perspective doesn't it?

Payin' It Out, Old School

I got on the phone yesterday to pay my semi-annual auto insurance bill and received a surprise. A human answered.

There was a weird kind of electronic hiccup while the phone was ringing, a hesitation of sorts, while the system apparently switched from the standard automated routine to human back-up. I was so startled to hear a real person I blurted out, "Oh, I was expecting the computer," when she said, "Hello."

She seemed a bit taken aback, too, and not aware their system was down. Nevertheless, she took my policy number, confirmed my name and birthdate, and asked if I wanted to pay the full amount with the card they have on file. I said, "Yes." She said, "Done," and gave me my confirmation number.

The whole process took less than half the time going through their automated phone tree does mostly because the robot voice offers repetitive descriptions of its intent and actions and demands constant confirmation of mine.

I'm sure the robot is cheaper but the human was way more efficient. And nicer to talk to.