This Is How the Kids Learn Bad Habits

My brother spent yesterday afternoon repairing the screens on three different windows after two of the cats busted out of the joint over the weekend.

We're at that golden time of the year when it's warm enough not to need to keep heat in the house and cool enough not to need the air conditioning and so virtually every window is open 24/7. The cats like to sit on the sills and fiddle with the screens (or, sometimes, claw at them if they see, or imagine, something is out there).

Over the weekend, Jasmine and daughter, Mittens, managed to shred (very quietly, while no one was looking) the screen in one of the windows of the breakfast nook. They chose the window with the barbecue grill parked underneath so they didn't have a high jump down onto the ground but could take it in steps. I don't know how long they were out before I noticed how quiet it was and went looking, in vain, through all the rooms for them. It was a good ten minutes of searching before I noticed Jasmine under the mango.

This was Mittens' first time out and she seemed a little spooked by it all. She was still by the grill and tried jumping back in the window that way when I came for her, but I had already closed it. She was easy to catch and, I think, a little relieved to be returned to safety.  Jasmine, on the other hand, had made a career of living rough before she came to us all knocked up and she was enjoying herself out there. I couldn't get within ten feet of her. I put a dish of kibble in the lanai and tried to block off all but one access route but she didn't fall for it. I consoled myself with the realization that she's grown so fat she poses no threat to the birds, or the squirrel or any but the stupidest lizard.

Three hours later, after sunset, she came to the front door in the pitch dark and begged to come in.

I mentioned up top that my brother repaired three windows. That's because this wasn't Jasmine's first breakout. She went through the bottom of the screen in his bathroom window a couple weeks ago and I noticed her wandering through the lanai and snagged her then (which may be why she stayed out of it this time). She also damaged the window over his tub.

Meanwhile, Paribanour lay comfortably atop her DVR set top box the whole time. She got out, accidentally, once before for all of two minutes and less than a foot from the front door and did not like it at all, no thank you. She much prefers her TV/DVR/my laptop and other tech to adventuring in the wild.

Immortality (Such as It Is). Achievement: Unlocked



Six or so years ago, when I was still in Salt Lake City and GM of a large independent bookstore, we were approached by a site scout for the director, Jared Hess, and asked if we would be willing to be the setting for several scenes of the movie he was then shooting, Gentlemen Broncos. I did some calculations and came up with a price that would cover our lost sales, rent and salaries/wages. They were amenable, we signed a contract and in due course everyone got two days surprise paid vacation. A couple of my booksellers tried out to be extras in the book signing scene and one of them is in the line of fans but it's difficult to spot her because a) they put everyone in some sort of fanish costume and b) she's not that tall and is blocked out by the people at the front of the line.

Looking toward the front entrance. Jennifer is back there, somewhere.

I was asked to be the onsite representative of the company to make sure there was no damage done to our property and that everything was put back where it belonged when they were done. The crew came in, took photos of everything and then completely redid the main floor of the store. They had mock-up books, both hardcover and paperback, posters, banners (for which our store was uniquely suited) and PoP displays. They built, dismantled and rebuilt a set of mini railroad tracks for the camera. The camera crew arrived as did the actors. The make-up artists began work in the cafe. There were probably forty-odd members of the cast and crew present, not counting the extras.

Michael Angarano and Jermaine Clement on set at our front info desk.
My office is on the balcony all the way in the back upstairs.

There was a tense moment when, just as shooting was about to start, Jared Hess noticed a distinct humming sound that turned out to be from our fluorescent lights. Disaster was averted when the sound guy announced he could digitally remove the buzz later. After that, everything went smoothly and they paid me a ridiculous amount of money to stand around and do nothing for two days.


And thus to the point of the story:  They were basically done shooting having just wrapped the scene where Ronald Chevalier's plagiarized book is unceremoniously swept from the shelves when Jared Hess (I don't really know him well enough to call him Jared but he's such a friendly, pleasant person that it feels just as weird to call him Mr. Hess) asked me if I wanted to be in a movie.

Well, duh!

So they shot an unscripted scene of me pushing a cartload of books down the main aisle. They said they couldn't shoot my face for SAG reasons (which was just as well because I was wearing a frayed old blue and white striped shirt as I wasn't planning to be "in public" that day). I pushed the cart down the aisle twice, tracked by the camera dolly. Then they broke set, put (almost) everything back in its proper place, and left.

And that was that. They paid me for my "acting." (About 3/4 of 1% of what they paid me to stand around.) I figured the offer to do a scene was just an ego boost and I'd end up either in the closing credits, if I was lucky, or, more likely, on the cutting room floor. I moved out of Salt Lake before the movie came out. It didn't do well, unfortunately, and I forgot all about it.

Until last night when it appeared on TV. I watched it. I admit to having a strange sense of humor, but I enjoyed it.

And there I was! My entire take! In the middle of the film (or at least in the middle of the resolution). You can't see my face; there is nothing identifiable about the person pushing the cart. There's no credit line. But it's me! Immortalized on film.

And I have the blue-striped shirt to prove it!

Jumping the Gun

It's three days before the special Republican primary election to select one of the candidates (and, given, the hard conservatism of this district, the likely winner) to replace our disgraced coke-headed Tea Party congressman and the local newspaper has done something I don't recall ever seeing before.

Their dead-tree edition has a front page story, covering the top two-thirds, effectively calling the race for one of the candidates based on a poll conducted earlier in the week. The headline reads, "ALL CLAWSON," with a picture of the candidate about twice as large as the others. (I think the size of the photo is equivalent to the per centage of favorable responses in the poll.) Clawson is an "outsider," a Tea Party darling and something of a carpetbagger, just like the last few congressmen from this district everyone is so embarrassed about.

The poll was conducted over three days and limited to registered Republicans (it's a closed primary) who claimed they were "certain" or "likely" to vote. There were 669 respondents. Further breakdown reveals that 91% were white, and 50% are over 65 years old. Another 36% are between 45 and 65. There's no telling how many of the remaining 14% are real close to 45 but as the Tea Partiers and other far right conservatives die off around the country, this will probably be their last stronghold.

Meanwhile, the actual election is still in progress. Early voting has been going on all week. Absentee ballots have reportedly been received at the county clerk's office in near record numbers. And the official election day isn't until Tuesday.

The cynic in me wonders if this is not a ploy by the newspaper (which is actually fairly moderate on political issues) to make Clawson supporters believe the election is in the bag, thereby lowering their turnout on election day and getting the followers of one of the also-rans fired up to go vote. Politics is dirty enough around here that it's possible.

A Very Long Day's Night

I had forgotten that the lunar eclipse was last night until just before it started so I hadn't taken a nap or otherwise prepared and was pretty well wiped out by show time.

Nevertheless, my brother and I took my telescopic Christmas present outside and spent some time alternating between the Moon and Mars. Mars, although much smaller, was brighter and a lighter, cleaner, friendlier red. The Moon was angrier, mottled by the intrinsic difference in brightness between the maria and the highlands. As the Moon darkened, Spica, which is currently just south of it and invisible in the glare of fullness, became temporarily prominent.

And then, once more, just as with every other astronomical event I try to watch, the clouds slid in. Thin, high cirrus, not thoroughly blocking naked eye viewing but destroying any chance of seeing through the telescope. Just before totality the Moon was obscured and Mars followed shortly. My brother went inside. I stayed out for a while and there were, indeed, moments where gaps allowed me to see a beautiful deep red eclipse but they were few and fleeting.

I packed up, finally, about 4 a.m. and went in. My brother had fallen asleep. I went out a couple more times without the 'scope but, although there was clear viewing off to the west, the clouds were coming up from the south and continued to hide the Moon and Mars.

I turned on NASA TV and tried to watch there but their music was awful and, in any event, clouds (perhaps the same high cirrus. Does NASA film from Kennedy Space Center?) soon swept across their shots, too.

Eternally optimistic, I now await the Leonids on Thursday. They should be coming right out of Mars. Unless there are clouds.

UPDATE:
Rain all afternoon and into the evening, frequently heavy. Clouds all night and today. Rain forecast for this afternoon and evening.

No Leonids meteor shower for us.

At the Sisyphus Garage

I've mentioned before my redneck brother's tendency to shop by price alone, hence his willingness to patronize WalMart for the slightly lower price without noticing the slightly smaller package size and slightly lower quality, but this series of truck repairs can not be blamed entirely on his choice of barely competent mechanics just because they charge less than his old one.

His truck was in and out (mostly in) the shop last week for headlight problems. Specifically, he didn't have any high beams. So he took it in for what should have been a simple replacement.

Tuesday: They put in new lamps and managed to disconnect the low beams. He brought it back.

Wednesday: They reconnected the low beams and managed to disconnect one of the new high beams. He brought it back.

Thursday: They broke the grill. He left it there overnight.

Friday: They installed a new grill. They double-checked all the connections and the alignments and guaranteed everything was in working order, which it was. My brother took it to work where one of his co-workers backed into him denting the grill and breaking one of the lamps.

The bozos at his garage got a big laugh out of that because, hey, at least it wasn't their fault.

This time.