Last night, as I went to give Mom her final eye drops of the day, I noticed the left side of her face and neck contained huge dark red splotches, as if she'd fallen and hit something which I didn't think was possible since she'd been sitting right there on the couch since dinner. Nevertheless, since she does get frequent hematomas (hematomae?) in her extremities due to ancient weak and leaky blood vessels, my first reaction was "Holy cow! What happened to you?"
When she smiled up at me and said, "What do you mean?" I took a closer look.
Mom has the old lady habit of always wearing some sort of makeup. She had taken her lipstick and applied it down her left cheek and then continued down the left side of her neck. Reminded me of the movie "Airplane" when Ted talks about his drinking problem. When I described it to her she smiled and said, "I didn't think I missed my lips by that much."
"Missed your lips! You didn't even find your face!"
Even better: When I got close to apply the eye drops I noticed she'd drawn a solid line right across both eyes
as if the lipstick was eyeliner or mascara.
I made her promise to wash her face before going to bed and she threw the lipstick away, claiming it was defective. This morning she was pretty well cleaned up with just residual redness on her neck although she did miss a large spot on her temple and her eyes look like she's suffering from severe allergies.
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