Nobody Listens to Me

Despite my repeated warnings about tornadoes, sinkholes, pythons, alligators (and crocodiles), brain-eating amoebas, flesh-eating bacteria, bears, brown water and red tides and a zillion different species of disease carrying mosquitoes, folks still come down here voluntarily.

I went to the library today and the first three license plates I saw in the parking lot were from Minnesota, Colorado and Ontario.

And don't get me started on license plates from the Virgin Islands, Bahamas and Aruba. Seriously, Aruba? It's a small island. Why do you even own a car and why go to all the bother of transporting it here? Hertz is in the process of moving their "World Headquarters" down here from New Jersey. Just fly in and rent something. (I assume you're coming for the cooler weather. Or maybe to fulfill a death wish.)

And you, Bahamas. What are you even doing here? In terms of weather, sand, sun, beaches and warm water what do we have that you don't right out your own front door? Are you looking to die from something exotic? Because otherwise I fail to see the advantage we have over you. (Maybe you should do a swap with Colorado up there. You can ski in the snow and they can ski in the water.)

Well, as long as you're all down here, please make sure you go to the beach. And the nature preserves. And the concerts, plays and restaurants. Go boating, kayaking, paddle boarding. Mind the crocodiles while you golf. As long as you're willing to risk death, you might as well enjoy the paradise part while you're at it.

And please spend lots of money, too.

Thanks.

Another Day in Paradise

In addition to the cold (for us anyway) and the recurring torrential rains, our county is on the list for Governor Skeletor's emergency declaration after two cases of Zika virus (out of 9 or 10 statewide) were reported here. Not sure what that entails since we already have a very robust anti-mosquito program in our county although its current effectiveness may be negated by all the rain. It does mean that the disease may now spread locally since the most common transmission vector is for the mosquitoes to pick up the virus by biting an infected person and then transmit it by biting uninfected folk.

We are, of course, home to 80(!) different species of mosquitoes, 33 of which think people and/or their pets are tasty, of which 13 can spread diseases among us including Aedes aegyptii, which spreads Zika and Aedes albopictus, which could if it wanted to.

Also, the red tide's back—with a vengeance. Thanks to all the rain (see above), the Corps of Engineers has been releasing torrents of water from an overflowing Lake Okeechobee into our main river washing tons of farm runoff nutrients downstream and into the Gulf (note the concentration of red dots) to feed the algae. The algae then overbreed, their vast numbers causing the red color, using up the available oxygen in the water suffocating the fish. Wave action also causes some algal cells to go airborne where they can cause respiratory problems in people.

The good news is the water has probably been cold enough to discourage the brain eating amoeba and flesh eating bacteria.

Meanwhile, back on land, while avoiding the bears and wild hogs and pythons and nile monitor lizards and tegus, it might be wise to note the discovery of a crocodile in town just visiting the beach. Which, for the record, makes us the only area in the world to have both alligators and crocodiles wandering around.

But, what the heck, come on down for a visit. If the wildlife doesn't kill you a tornado or sinkhole just might!